This will probably be a long rambling incoherent post but bear with me... I had my orientation for my new job today. Lots of paperwork and a short tour of the unit I'll be working on. I also had my picture taken and was presented with my new badge. Wow! What a feeling, to see that badge with my picture and name, and there below my name in bold letters it says RN. I think the sight of that badge finally brought home the fact that I am a nurse. I'm expected to be knowledgeable, caring, compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic. I'm the advocate for these patients. It's my responsibility to ensure they are receiving the very best care they can get, and to deliver a large part of that care.

Part of me wants to run screaming, saying "WTF was I thinking? I'm no nurse!" and another part of me wants to put on my scrubs and stethoscope and dive right in. Of course, the evil part of my personality wants to get notarized copies of my badge to send to all those people who never thought I could do it..... :)

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm terrified/excited/exhausted/terrified/elated/(did I say terrified?). I feel almost bipolar, with really big highs and fairly low lows. Now, this may all be partly due to the fact that I'm trying to change my sleeping schedule to up all night, sleep all day... and so far it's not working too damn well! I can make it up till 1 or 2 with no problem, but then I'm wiped out. Last night I fell asleep sometime after 1am, got up at 6 to get Alex off to school and get ready for my appointment. I left the house at 7:15, drove to the county Health Dept. to pick up copies of my immunization records (what happened to my copies is what I'd like to know!) and then to the orientation. From there I drove to a friends house and gave her some advice on studying for the NCLEX, (along with some online window shopping and visiting with her dogs), and got home at 2:45. After homework supervision, dinner making, grandson sitting and American Idol watching it's midnight... and I'm tired now dammit! But, no rest for the weary, at least not until 2am. I have to be able to sleep tomorrow!

Ok, enough whining. I can do this and it will all be fine. I'll relate my first few days in a post as soon as I have some time. Wish me well!